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Thom
Gardner,
ABR, Buyers Agent / Buyers Broker / Bend Realtor
The Bend Realtor who works with Buyers ONLY!
Phone-
541-480-7554 Email-
Bendbrokersrealty@gmail.com
Green
Lakes, with Broken Top behind
Where’s
a good place to eat in Bend? And what’s the REAL
deal?
Yes, if you’ve eaten in Bend you’ll know we are very lucky
to have lots of great restaurants. Some are better than
others. Some feel better if you are a Yuppie rather than a
Hippie, and vice versa- it’s a fairly “clique-y” town.
Though, I must say, since the economic downturn we see far
fewer snobs than we did in the high times- Thankfully! So,
I have scores for each of these restaurants that you won’t
find many places, including a Snob rating (I may be a
Mensan, but I ain’t no snob), and an atmosphere rating.
Atmosphere is the one thing severely lacking in so many
Bend restaurants, as even nice places give in to the
“casual style” prevalent here, by way of cafeteria/ cheap
pub seating. Should you get cafe style seating if you spend
$100 on a meal? You be the judge. No, wait. I will.
CLICK
ON UNDERLINED RESTAURANTS TO GO TO THEIR HOME PAGE!
=
THOM’s FAVORITE ESTABLISHMENTS
I HAVE
PUT THE BETTER BEND ESTABLISHMENTS NEAR THE TOP, AND THE
WORST AT THE BOTTOM. GO DEEP AT YOUR OWN RISK!
New reviews- October 2011-
Hola, Jackalope, 900 Wall updated, Typhoon
added
THE JACKALOPE GRILL
-
1245 SE Third St. -- P. 541.318.8435
UPDATE-
October 2011-
Well, the best can only go in one direction. I am sad to
say that my latest visit was not as great as those
previously. My wife and I were both slightly disappointed
on our meals- I had the Filet Mignong, perilously small for
$33, and sided with very boring mashed potatoes. The dish
should have run no more than $24. My wife had the salmon,
good, but similarly under-portioned and over-priced. Should
have been $19, it was $23. Worse, their tequilas are low
budget in perhaps the highest budget restaurant in town,
and their margaritas are served in a pint glass, with a
high price ($9.25) and meager quality. I have dropped their
ratings to match.
With so many other great choices in Bend, this one has
slipped a little. The good news is that they are moving
downtown to Lava st in January.
You probably already noticed the crummy address. Yep.
Another FABULOUS restaurant, perhaps the best fine dining
in all of Bend, sits far away from the rest of the action,
on Hwy 97. Bummer location, but just like Zydeco, sometimes
you have to get away from the trendy areas to find the real
gems. And no one would ever call Hwy 97, Bend’s Third
street, a trendy address. But this restaurant is amazing-
please ignore the strip mall exterior, make a reservation,
and prepare for a singular experience on the High Desert,
not to be duplicated hereabouts. It has often been voted
Bend’s best restaurant. The only bummer, and hence the only
low score, is that it is VERY expensive. But it should be-
I’d rather dump half a paycheck here than anywhere downtown
any day, because it actually feels like it’s worth it!
Ownership has changed hands over the past few years, and
alas, my longtime friend Timmy Wutzke is no longer the sous
chef, but the quality remains. If you really want to
impress a date or business contacts in Bend, bring them
here. They will forget the strip mall thing as soon as they
step inside- tastefully decorated, just the right amount of
darkness, tables that have real intimacy, outrageously good
service, and perhaps the finest cooking staff in all of
Bend (minus Tim, of course). Reservations are usually
required. Food is top notch, and they have a great
selection of wines, and of course, cocktails for my
liquorian brethren out there. My vote for the best overall
food in town. You will thank me.
FOOD-
A-
DRINKS-
A-
ATMOSPHERE-
B+
SERVICE-
A
VALUE-
C
SNOB FACTOR-
High (Hey, it’s expensive fine dining, what did you expect?
I don’t want snobs in my pub, but I don’t mind them when
I’m on THEIR turf!)
˜
HOLA!
-
2670 NW Hwy 20- East side at The Forum Shops -- P.
541.389.4652 
AND - 520 SW Powerhouse Dr #626 - P. 541.647.2711
AND- SUNRIVER MARINA! Canoe in, Canoe out!
Update-
October 2011
Ahh yes, my Peruvian Ahi dish. Well, not nearly as good as
it used to be. It is now cooked (AHI SHOULD BE NEARLY RAW),
and mushy. I ate with 3 others, and our average score for
our meals was a B. I need a new favorite restaurant, though
the fact that I can canoe into the Sunriver restaurant, and
also canoe out, REALLY puts that particular location high
on my list- the saving grace for the others (Love the cuban
nacho and a couple of margaritas mid-canoe)! Drinks are
still good, and I have raised that rating while lowering
the food rating.
Update-
5/2010
My wife and I took a client out to his congratulatory
dinner at the new Hola on the Westside. I am very pleased
to say that it is at least every bit as good as the first
location, and now a much closer drive! In fact, I had one
of the absolute best pieces of Ahi steak I have had in my
whole life, and I eat Ahi quite often. It was beautifully
cooked, very rare inside, with a nice layer of fat outside,
and a delicious rub outside that. Served artistically with
a delicious Peruvian side dish that was purple and white,
gorgeous and delicious. Very close to being my favorite
restaurant in town.
This
is good food. It is a Peruvian fusion restaurant, located
at the Forum shops- hey, people on the East side gotta eat
too, right? So the location is not so good, but the food is
at this restaurant started by offshoots of another favorite
of mine- La Rosa. Guacamole made to order at your table,
fantastic drinks, several varieties of peppers in
residence, and they will make up a sauce for you from them
if you are not satisfied with what you have. Just don’t ask
for as many habaneros to be put in it as I did- a wee bit
hot! But that’s my stupidity, with my aforementioned
experience in Mexico, I chafe at the amount of HOT people
in the States put in their “Mexican” food, and when they
blast me out (Toomie’s, Hola!), they get the seal of
approval for authenticity. That no heat enchilada ain’t
Mexican, Jack! That’s Southwest. But this ain’t Mexican
either, it’s Latin fusion, and you will find a variety of
dishes here that you won’t find at so called “Mexican”
restaurants. Great service- everyone from the cook to the
greeter will assist you. Recommended. And have some Tequila
soaked pineapple!
FOOD-
B+
DRINKS-
A
ATMOSPHERE-
C
SERVICE-
A
VALUE-
B
SNOB FACTOR-
Not too bad, and the food is worth any snobbery
˜
TOOMIE’S
THAI RESTAURANT
-
119 NW Minnesota ave- Downtown -- P. 541.388.5590
Lunch
at Toomie’s is a Bend tradition. I have been having lunch
their with the family for years- we used to do our office
meeting there as well. So, I am biased. Yes, I know there
is another Thai restaurant down the street. They can come
see me at Toomie’s if they want to have a word. This is one
of those support your local businessperson deals, and they
don’t get much more local than Toomie’s. I have eaten at
the other place’s franchise in Portland, but not yet here.
Still, for great Thai, why go anywhere else? Best lunch in
town. If you like extra spicy like I do, ask for it- you’ll
get it!
FOOD-
A
DRINKS-
C (just wine and beer)
ATMOSPHERE-
C+
SERVICE-
B+
VALUE-
B+
SNOB FACTOR-
Nope
˜
BOURBON STREET-
5 NW Minnesota ave- Downtown -- P. 541.323.2833
UPDATE- October 2011- OUT OF BUSINESS!!!!!!
STACCATO
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! And I am truly sorry to see that, as
it was about the third or fourth best quality restaurant in
town. Of course, their prices said they were the BEST in
town, or maybe the whole Northwest, and that proved their
downfall. And now, something completely different.
Bourbon Street is just that, something we actually didn't
have in Bend (with the possible exception of Zydeco), which
is good cajun/ creole food straight outta New Orleans. It
is a breath of fresh air, has a great happy hour, and if
you love spicy seafood like I do, you're gonna love it. My
only beef is that their house drinks are way too sweet and
sugary for the likes of me, but I suppose that is in
keeping with the "jungle juice" style of Louisiana
beverages. Pasta, fried seafood, pulled pork, all kinds of
wonderful things (including Crawfish, which is a tiny
miracle for people like my Mom who cannot eat saltwater
fish), a smoking happy hour menu, a more casual dining
experience than the relatively snobby Stacatto, and
relatively fair prices make this one of my new favorites,
and it's in one of the most interesting buildings in town-
the Old Firehall.
FOOD-
B+
DRINKS-
C
ATMOSPHERE-
A
SERVICE-
A-
VALUE-
B+
SNOB FACTOR-
Low to Medium
˜
ZYDECO
-
Bond Street, downtown -- P. 541.312.2899
2011 update- I dropped Zydeco down a few spots in this
list, as I was a bit dismayed to see that their health
department score was the lowest of any of the restaurants
listed as my favorites. Hopefully they will improve their
kitchen cleanliness. Check out the Deschutes County Health
dept scores online for more information. They are now in
their downtown location.
2009-
A
nice surprise in a crummy location. Yes, I am sorry to tell
my visitors that it is located on 3rd st, otherwise known
to many of you as HWY 97, Bend’s ugly side. However, they
deserve credit for turning an old Skippers restaurant into
a place where very good food is served, and which has been
here now for several years. (This JUST in . . . With Volo
going out of business in January, a great and doubly large
space opened up for Zydeco. I can’t think of a restaurant
more deserving of prime downtown real estate!
Congratulations, and we wish you a long life in restaurant
row!) Not much atmosphere, and a little expensive for my
tastes, but those of you who can should give it a try.
Seafood and Cajun/ Southern specialties are their
focus.
FOOD-
A-
DRINKS-
B
ATMOSPHERE-
C+
SERVICE-
B+
VALUE-
B-
SNOB FACTOR-
Not too bad, really!
˜
LA ROSA
-
High Lakes Dr. in Northwest Crossing (at Mt. Washington
Dr.) -- P. 541.318.7210 
Which
brings me to La Rosa. An offshoot of the successful but
mediocre El Caporal chain, it is a boutique style Mexican
cafe, with fairly high prices for said style. EERILY
similar to HOLA! in many ways (or vice versa, as you read
above), minus the fusion, it is no slouch in the food
department. I love this place, though it is a bit expensive
in the dinner department. And Guac made at your table is
always a plus. Great drinks, too. I have recently found
myself frequenting La Rosa fairly often, as I must eat
Guacamole almost daily to retain my “Honorary Mexican”
status. However, I have been frequenting the NEW La Rosa in
Northwest Crossing, and I must say, there are fewer snobs
there. And, I can happily report that on a recent Saturday
night, it was moderately quiet. Lots of “Roadies” in there
with their itty bitty T-rex arms and big legs, (local joke-
Roadies vs. Mtn. Bikers, T-rex arms- HAH!), but I s’pose
they gotta eat too! Just more rice cakes than the rest of
us . . . (Roadies have a local rep as being more snobby
than Mtn Bikers, for those who don’t get the joke- and it’s
just humor, we like to pick on each other- no offense
intended!) I felt it necessary to lower the snob rating to
Medium from Medium High. And a decent margarita for $4.95?
Priceless. And you have to try the jalapeño Margarita-
minus the strawberry part.
FOOD-
B+
DRINKS-
B+
ATMOSPHERE-
C-
SERVICE-
C+
VALUE-
B-
SNOB FACTOR-
Medium, worse on weekend evenings- but these are SO-CAL
t-shirt and jeans snobs, NOT turtle neck wearing wine
sippers.
˜
(541) 322-8889McMENAMIN’S OLD SAINT FRANCIS SCHOOL
PUB
-
700 NW Bond- Downtown -- P. 541.382.5174
I
have a LOVE/hate relationship with McMenamins Old Saint
Francis location, caps intended. I love the laid back
feeling, I love their margaritas (minus some of the sugary
triple sec- too sweet here), I LOVE the movie theater, and
I love O’Kane’s Bar hidden in the back forty of the place,
where they play almost exclusively Grateful Dead (some days
I like it, some days not so much . . .) and you can have a
cigar or sit by the fires outside or inside. Fireside Grill
is okay, but always super cigarette soaked (Cigars have
their place, cigarettes, no). What do I hate? The food.
Rarely do you hear about anyone raving about the food at
this Northwest pub chain- though I do have a very smart
client that LOVES the Huevos Rancheros breakfast! I did
rave about the Terminator cheesecake once- they don’t have
it here. I do love their Crab Fondue (Gee, now I sound like
the snob!), but that’s it, and I have tried it all, as have
my friends and relations. However, if you avoid the generic
McM’s main menu and stick with house specialties and the
seasonal specials, you may find something truly delicious-
it does indeed happen, and more often than it used to. And
I am stupid enough that I eat there a lot (Happy Hour
Cheeseburgers, mostly), because I love the music they play
(lots of Alternative, Grunge, and Album Rock), I can have a
Margarita while my lovely wife has a beer, and it feels
like home since I have been in a million Mcmenamins’ in my
time, and I suppose it reminds me a bit of the years in the
early 90’s bopping all over the Northwest chasing Grunge
bands and stopping at the obligatory Mcm’s. Pretty much
everything is bland and under-spiced here- which to some is
Northwest style, I guess. So, don’t go for the food. Go
because I met my wife at O’Kanes bar on a blind date. And a
year later to the day, I asked her to marry me at the same
table. Go for that reason, or for the movies, or for the
modestly good beer, or because you like cigars and the
Grateful Dead. Just don’t go if you want to impress someone
with your culinary taste, though again, if you stay away
from the items carried in the whole chain, it’s pretty
good. Unless they think Tater Tots are high cuisine- the
cajun tots here are legendary! (for half drunk, late night
people, anyway.)
FOOD-
C
DRINKS-
B
ATMOSPHERE-
B+
SERVICE-
B-
VALUE-
B
SNOB
FACTOR-
This one tends toward hippie/ hipster. Snobs don’t
generally like either.
˜
PARRILLA
GRILL
-
635 NW 14th St. (at the Galveston Circle, across from
Rigoberto’s)-- P. 541.617.9600 
On
my occasional days off, usually Sunday and sometimes
Monday, you may find me at one of a few favorite places.
Mcmenamin’s on the patio having a happy hour cheeseburger
and a Rubynator. Hola having a Jalapeño Margarita and some
fresh made guacamole. At the Downtown Martini bar having a
happy hour infusion. Or, sometimes, at Parrilla Grill
having an “Enter the Tofu Dragon” wrap with corn salsa and
a stripe of “Stash” hot sauce, and maybe, if I’ve just done
a ride or been at the lake, maybe a “Yes, it’s made from
mix” Margarita, by the pitcher or glass. But Parrilla
doesn’t pretend to have great Margaritas, like some others
on this page, it is just a cheap, friendly, and awfully
good place to gnosh. Sometimes they have bands outside, or
inside- I have seen both and enjoyed them immensely. A real
local’s kind of place. Low key, Hippie chick servers
(that’s what we used to call them in Eugene in the 90’s-
what do they call them now? Same thing under any name, same
pleasant effect upon one’s soul- male or female), no
atmosphere when there is no music, but really, really great
if you iike Chipotle style wraps (they were here BEFORE
there was a Chipotle, I believe). Highly recommended for
the low budget, “I live or want to live in Bend” local’s
experience. Reminds me of hole in the wall places I have
found and loved from Baja to Brazil. Just Bend’s version.
If you are like me and love it hot- ask for the “Stash” hot
sauce they keep under the counter. Be careful though, more
than one stripe can be deadly!
FOOD-
A-
DRINKS-
B-
ATMOSPHERE-
C (A- when there is a band!)
SERVICE-
B
VALUE-
B+
SNOB FACTOR-
Only the reverse, “you’re not grungy enough to be cool”
kind.
˜
900 Wall
- 900 Wall St. -- P. 541-323-6295
UPDATE- October 2011- I have returned to 900 Wall again and
again with clients. The praise is pretty universal. Go for
Happy Hour, as their regular menu prices are still WAY too
high. I have increased their rating, and moved them several
places up the list.
Did
you ever eat at Merenda? You know, before the "debacle and
the turning tail and the exiting the Country" thing? Well
then, no review of 900 Wall is needed for you. Because, you
see, you have already eaten there. The new owners bought
everything, and I mean everything, that was Merenda-
tables, chairs, decor, and it's hard to tell if anything at
all in there has changed. Oh sure, the menu is a bit
different, but not by much. It's still fine dining with a
very casual flair, still has the same bar that offered the
best happy hour in town (no word yet on the new happy hour-
I will report when I know), and still more expensive than I
think it merits. I mean, come on, a simple plate of Risotto
is $15 for lunch? What's that cost to make, about $1.50?
Still, if you must be seen when you eat, this is the place
for you. This is Bend's home for "just moved from
California" types, no insult intended. It does tend to have
one of the snobbier crowds in town, and has almost no
atmosphere whatsoever, just casual. pub style seating,
which is fine, but do I want to spend $100 on a meal for
two and sit in pub chairs? Not exactly. I highly recommend
several restaurants over this one- Zydeco, the Pine Tavern,
The Jackalope, and Staccato all come to mind for better
food and better atmosphere, and you can actually have a
conversation in those restaurants as well without having to
shout. It is the one place in Bend that reminds me of my
old haunts in La Jolla, California, and I don't mean in a
good way. Still, if you have to be seen . . . the location
could not be better, and they have sidewalk seating. Bon
Appetit.
FOOD-
A-
DRINKS-
B+
ATMOSPHERE-
C
SERVICE-
A
VALUE-
C
SNOB FACTOR-
The highest
˜
TYPHOON-
550 NW Franklin Ave # 148- P. 541.322.8889
Typhoon is an Oregon chain of Thai restaurants, known for
quality and a relatively upscale dining experience. The
Bend location does not disappoint, with good food, good
drinks, a decent Happy Hour, and more atmosphere than the
average Bend Restaurant. While still not quite up to the
food quality of Toomie's, that favorite of mine has altered
their menu (gone from 140 dishes to 30 plus), raised
prices, AND shrunken their portion sizes, so Typhoon now
rates pretty close to it. Add to that the fact that they
have cocktails (Toomie's has applied for a license as of
October 2011), and as I said, a LOT more atmosphere than
Toomie's, and I am now putting it on my recommended list.
FOOD-
B+
DRINKS-
A-
ATMOSPHERE-
B
SERVICE-
B
VALUE-
B
SNOB
FACTOR-
Pretty high on occasion- higher than Toomie's to be sure
˜
PINE
TAVERN
-
967 NW Brooks St. -- P. 541.382.5581
The
Pine Tavern is one of the oldest and most venerated
restaurants in all of Bend. I would probably be run out of
here on a rail if I said anything bad about it. So, it’s a
good thing I can’t. The Pine may have the best mix of
locals, old school and new, and tourists in town, and it is
the better for it. The bar is a real place to mix with
people of all stripes, and the restaurant serves good
quality food at fair to high prices. The location is great,
overlooking the Deschutes on the same strip as the BBC,
with a real Ponderosa Pine tree growing right through the
restaurant. And everyone loves the little “scone” rolls
they serve before dinner. Don’t eat too many, though,
because your meal is bound to be good. Good drinks, good
food, and even better, good people. A real steak or salmon
and potatoes kind of place- not really my kind of thing but
a kind of thing many love, and they do it well. We
sometimes end up here after crawling around downtown,
scheming to get them to give us the “free” dinner scones at
the bar. Recommended.
FOOD-
A
DRINKS-
B+
ATMOSPHERE-
B+
SERVICE-
A-
VALUE-
B-
SNOB FACTOR-
Medium High, mostly “Old Bend” snobs
˜
PASTINI
- 375 SW Powerhouse Dr. -- P. 541.749.1060
What
the heck is a chain doing in this list you say? I mean, why
not put Applebee's in here, right? Well, first of all,
Applebee's is just plain awful, and Pastini is awfully
good. Secondly, it is an Oregon-only chain, and since the
majority of my buyers come out of California or elsewhere,
I felt it apropos to post it here. My wife wanted to eat
here for her birthday recently, and though I am not a pasta
fan, I sucked it up and smiled. And I am better for having
done so, as it was not only completely packed on an off
night, but quite good. They have a great patio on the
riverfront, much like neighboring restaurants Anthonys' (a
good one), and Greg's Grill (not as good), but expect to
wait longer for a patio table. We did not want to wait and
ate inside. Jennifer had a pasta dish, which she absolutely
adored, and since I don't go in for pasta, I had a panini,
which was also fabulous. Add to that some great wines, good
service, a fantastic Italian Mojito, some minimalist yet
real atmosphere, and you've got a winner. It was good
enough that our next day meal, at 900 Wall, paled in
comparison, and the Mojito I had there did not even rate on
the same scale. And remember, you're hearing this from a
guy who would almost rather not eat than eat pasta. If you
are the opposite, you should try this one.
FOOD-
A-
DRINKS-
A-
ATMOSPHERE-
B-
SERVICE-
B
VALUE-
B+
SNOB FACTOR-
It's Italian and at the Old Mill, so they are there, but in
a minimal way
˜
THE BEND DISTILLERY
(Downtown)
- 850 NW Brooks St -- 541.388.6868
Affectionately
known by locals as "The Martini Bar", it is located in the
breezeway between Wall St and the parkfront. There is a
second location at the Old Mill which I understand is
larger and has a nice balcony view, but I am so satisfied
with this one that it is like a well worn shoe I refuse to
take off. Once upon a time it was one of the places which
symbolized the temporary, Southern California style
cultural domination of fake breasts and bleach blonde hair
and vapid, empty personalities, and I am told that at the
right time of night on a Friday or Saturday, it can still
host such types in abundance. I am thrilled, however, that
on my last several visits, this was not the case, as there
was a mélange of average Joe's and business types all
sharing the same space. The drinks are amazing, and happy
hour is a great deal. I avoided the place for years due to
the vacant sort of clientele they served, and am now making
up for lost time as Bend has returned to some sort of
normalcy. Food is nothing special, just higher quality bar
fare, but the atmosphere is good, the beverages are top
notch, and the service is usually quite good as well (the
tall, blonde woman that often serves us is among the best
servers in town- hire her if you are opening a place here).
Though it is not technically a restaurant, it is one of my
favorite places to go. Tip one, two, or three back for me.
They also sell their own Gin and Vodka in bottles, very
high quality stuff, made right here in Bend.
FOOD-
B-
DRINKS-
A
ATMOSPHERE-
B
SERVICE-
A
VALUE-
B+
SNOB FACTOR-
Lower early, Higher late
˜
THE BLACKSMITH RESTAURANT AND
BAR
-
211 NW Greenwood - 541.318.0588
The Blacksmith is a great example of a restaurant that
might no have made it through the downturn, but they
decided to fight back, and created a great Happy Hour menu
and scene, and have perhaps shifted a little from
uber-expensive restaurant mentioned in Eastern magazines,
to comfortable yet slightly upscale local lounge, with the
high quality food still available for those who can still
afford it. I am not generally among them, so all I can
speak of is the Happy Hour. It's an enjoyable place to sit,
with a fairly dark interior, highlighted by a very large,
wraparound bar that is lit from underneath, and gleams a
white hue into the air by virtue of its marbelly surface.
Happy Hour menu is varied and tasty, and lets you try a
little bit of the stuff that formerly only the rich could
afford. Recommended for a little more "loungey" take on
evening eats in Bend, and a welcome bit of darkness and
atmosphere in our brightly lit and creatively challenged
culinary scene. If you liked Staccato, you'll find a
similar sort of upscale fare here.
FOOD-
B+
DRINKS-
B+
ATMOSPHERE-
A-
SERVICE-
A-
VALUE-
B
SNOB FACTOR-
Only on the dinner side.
˜
AMALIA'S
-
915 NW Wall St. - 541.382.3244
Okay,
I am not done with this one yet, as I love Mexican food so
much that restaurants that feed my passion must get second
chances. And this one will, but a bit begrudgingly. I
always say you can tell how good the place is going to be
by how good the salsa is, and this one is fairly average.
They have a fair selection of good tequilas, but perhaps
not as many as I might like- not as many as the now defunct
Parilla, for instance. Still, fairly good, and they offer
organic tequilas, which are the latest thing on this side
of the border, where most of our tequilas are mass produced
and toxically enhanced. Big fan of Casa Noble, which they
have. But the food we had was very average, and Northwest
style- lacking spice. The margaritas I had were absolutely
nothing special. Right now it ranks right there with El
Caporal in the "Yeah, it's Mexican-ish, but not super
authentic, not spicy enough, not hand crafted enough. Fine
if you just want something Mexican, but not if you want
GREAT Mexican, if so, see Hola!, La Rosa, etc..." I will be
back, and you can expect an update in a few months.
FOOD-
C+
DRINKS-
C
ATMOSPHERE-
B+
SERVICE-
B+
VALUE-
C
SNOB FACTOR-
Yes, they do live here for dinner
~
The PHOENIX
-
594 NE Bellevue Dr - Eastside- 541.317.0727
I
love nachos. There, I've said it. I know, it paints me in
the light of a know-nothing Americano, eating Mexican food
that is not even Mexican. So sue me. But wait, they don't
sue people in Mexico (as you'll find out when you read my
new novel- HOLY TEQUILA, coming soon!). I love them. They
are the world's most perfect food delivery system, so sorry
to Pizza. But they're better, when done right. And that's
the trouble, as they are most often done completely wrong.
And much of the time they are wrong in Mexican restaurants,
even. But this is the best nacho I have had in Bend, bar
none. They mix real cheese with a cream sauce, cover the
whole thing, bury it in steak and chopped avocado,
jalapenos, and the like. Man, it's good. Everything we've
tried here is good, and that's a pleasant surprise, as when
you go East, you generally think you are falling down the
food chain a few spots, but I think this is the exception.
Prices are a tad high for dinner, but they are everywhere,
right? Happy Hour is fantastic, but often overcrowded- get
there early. And what they also get right is the
atmosphere. You know I harp on the poor design of most Bend
restaurants, but they have comfortable seating, loads of
flat screen tv's in the bar, a pleasant staff, friendly
local clientele, a good patio, and they have turned the old
low budget interior of the Roadhouse into something much
more comfortable. Still, not perfect, but great for a drink
and some chow if you are on the Sunrise side of town. A
Happy Hour favorite.
FOOD-
B+
DRINKS-
B
ATMOSPHERE-
B+
SERVICE-
A-
VALUE-
B
SNOB FACTOR-
C'mon, It's the EAST side!
~
THE ASTRO LOUNGE
-
147 NW Minnesota Ave. - P. 541.388.0116
All right, this one gets a good rating no matter what.
Why? I sat next to two of the owners in the Ten
Club section at a Pearl Jam concert, and anyone who is a
rabid PJ fan and dances like I do gets my vote.
Besides, he's a good guy with good specials. I
had ridiculously never eaten there before, though I have
been connected with people who have worked there and at
Marz next door over the years, so it's kind of strange.
But the munchies are great (and come from Marz, I am
told), the drinks are great, and the crowd is not a bunch
of yuppie OC cheeseballs in designer jeans. Low key,
a local restaurant workers' favorite, and those guys know
where to go. Good service, too- they bust their
butts. A caveat- WAY too busy on holiday weekends
when the tourists are out and about. Had to bail with
some clients recently as we were getting smashed in and
couldn't hear each other. But, check it out.
FOOD-
B+
DRINKS-
A-
ATMOSPHERE-
C+
SERVICE-
A-
VALUE-
A-
SNOB FACTOR-
Only when the OC tourists are in town, but I doubt they
stay long
~
DESCHUTES BREWERY
-
1044 NW Bond- Downtown -- P.
541.382.9242
If
you are a tourist (hey, we ALL start out that way!), you
probably have either been to, or are planning to visit this
local landmark. How it has, or hasn’t, changed over the
years! I first moved here in 1990, at 20 years old, and how
great was it to have a place that didn’t check ID’s! It was
the local’s place back then, long before the bottling
plant, and after I met my first wife, it became our place.
How funny it is that it was my second wife’s place in her
first marriage, too! Then again, there weren’t many places
back then to call your own. Now there are. SO, I ask you,
tourist and non-tourist alike, why would you wait an hour
or two just to get a table there? It’s not Spago, you know.
Not even the Brown Derby. It’s just a pub. I know, you want
to be able to tell people you went there, so do it once.
But you won’t find many locals there these days. We’re kind
of irked that they have had twenty years to remodel it so
you can hear yourself have a conversation, or so you can
actually get a seat, but they have ignored our pleas for
two decades now. The lot next store was even available, but
did they buy it with their vast reservoir of cash? Nope.
Instead they went the corporate route, throwing money at
bottling instead of the local fans. Oh well. At least we
have many more choices now. So do you! Yes, you- waiting
with that beeper in your hand for two hours just to eat a
basic burger and some beer. Yes, I have to say their beer
is still the best in town- but you can get it everywhere.
And their food is better than that at the other pubs, with
the possible exception of the BBC. But you can probably
sense a low atmosphere score coming . . . It has great
atmosphere . . . if you like standing in line, hearing
everyone else yell over each other, or just to be crushed
by the masses- kind of like those mosh pits I loved in the
early nineties . . .
FOOD-
B
DRINKS-
A- (however, no cocktails)
ATMOSPHERE-
D
SERVICE-
B (they try, they just have too many people to look after)
VALUE-
B-
SNOB FACTOR-
As high as it can get at a pub, but that’s still not all
that high.
˜
BEND BREWING COMPANY
(Known to locals as the BBC)-
1019 NW Brooks St.- Downtown, one street West of Wall st.
-- P. 541.383.1599
Thank
God that the BBC then opened up in response to the lack of
a local’s pub in Bend! You won’t find many tourists in
here, just real, local folks. The Snob Factor could hardly
be lower. And the good news is that the food is generally
passable. Most of the time it’s quite "okay", but it's just
pub fare. If you are a pub nacho person- they have the best
in town, though that’s partly because every other nacho
I’ve had in Bend is trash. The bad news? Yeah, the beer
ain’t that great. I have waited, year after year for it to
get better (I have been a brewer myself since high school,
though I stopped due to an allergy a few years ago, hence
the cocktail fixation), but it never does. It’s always a
bit flat. Rarely has kick or bite. Bummer, if they only had
great beer they could keep us all permanently away from the
tourist trap a block away. As it is, it’s a much more
pleasant experience to head here than the competition, and
in the Summer they have a nice patio as well. I think they
could make better use of their river view, but I’m,
splitting hairs. And I recently raised their Value score,
as their "Locals Night" Tuesday specials are the best
priced in town.
FOOD-
C
DRINKS-
C (no cocktails, either. McMenamin’s is your best bet if
you have a mixed cocktail/ beer/ wine
group)
ATMOSPHERE-
C
SERVICE-
B+ (usually pretty good!)
VALUE-
B+
SNOB FACTOR-
Dude, there are no snobs in Bend!
˜
EL JIMADOR
-
801 NW Wall st- Downtown -- P.
541.318.1333
This
is a seemingly great location at the corner of Wall and
Franklin, I say seemingly because several restaurants have
passes in and out of here over the past several years. This
is basically Mid-priced Mexican food of average quality
(remember now, I have spent a great deal of my life
actually IN Mexico, and my mother is an expert Mexican
cook, I feel over qualified to judge Mexican food), served
in, what else, cafeteria style seating. However, to their
credit, they are not pretending to be anything other than
that, like some of the others here. Good points? TEQUILA-
it’s all I drink when out (or in, for that matter) and yes,
I do consider myself a bit of an expert on the agave as
well (see previous for why!). They have one of the best
selections in town of craft Tequilas. My wife and I came
here on our first date for that reason. And, it’s one of
the few places you can sit out on the sidewalk and eat
downtown.
FOOD-
C-
DRINKS-
A
ATMOSPHERE-
C
SERVICE-
B
VALUE-
C
SNOB FACTOR-
Rare, but here on Friday and Saturday
night
˜
EL
CAPORAL
-
(WEST) 744 NW Bond St -- P. 541.322.8916; (EAST) 2570 NE
Twin Knolls dr. -- P. 541.318.1492
The
El Caporal franchise may be Bend’s most successful
restaurant chain . . . if you don’t count McDonald’s. The
East side one opened ages ago, followed by locations West,
Tumalo, and LaPine. I don’t really have anything BAD to
say, though I have eaten at the two Bend locations a good
dozen times each in my years. But, conversely, I don’t
really have anything GOOD to say, either. It is average
quality Mexican food, dumbed down a bit for native
Northwest palates, I am sorry to say- folks from South of
Oregon will be disappointed. This has made them quite
successful, though, and who am I to question that. I do
question, however, how you can have a menu item called the
“Perfect” Margarita, and you still put sugary Margarita mix
in it rather than fresh squeezed fruit. People have been
shot for less in the Mexico that Pancho Villa and Emiliano
Zapata fought for. There is nothing “Perfect” about
margarita mix- quite the opposite, in fact. Similarly,
everything here seems done for flash and show, but not for
substance. I can attest that they have a great selection of
tequilas, though, and they have done a better than Bend
average at promoting some atmosphere. But again, there are
better choices in Bend now, though there weren’t when the
East location opened. Just look at any one of the Mexican
or Latin American restaurants on this page with my logo
beside it. You will thank me. This one puts the “medio” in
“mediocre”, but can be fun if you are just out to drink and
your standards aren’t too high.
FOOD-
C
DRINKS-
B-
ATMOSPHERE-
B+
SERVICE-
C
VALUE-
C+
SNOB FACTOR-
Moderately Low
˜
BEND BREWING COMPANY
(Known to locals as the BBC)-
1019 NW Brooks St.- Downtown, one street West of Wall st.
-- P. 541.383.1599
Thank
God that the BBC then opened up in response to the lack of
a local’s pub in Bend! You won’t find many tourists in
here, just real, local folks. The Snob Factor could hardly
be lower. And the good news is that the food is generally
passable. Most of the time it’s quite "okay", but it's just
pub fare. If you are a pub nacho person- they have the best
in town, though that’s partly because every other nacho
I’ve had in Bend is trash. The bad news? Yeah, the beer
ain’t that great. I have waited, year after year for it to
get better (I have been a brewer myself since high school,
though I stopped due to an allergy a few years ago, hence
the cocktail fixation), but it never does. It’s always a
bit flat. Rarely has kick or bite. Bummer, if they only had
great beer they could keep us all permanently away from the
tourist trap a block away. As it is, it’s a much more
pleasant experience to head here than the competition, and
in the Summer they have a nice patio as well. I think they
could make better use of their river view, but I’m,
splitting hairs. And I recently raised their Value score,
as their "Locals Night" Tuesday specials are the best
priced in town.
FOOD-
C
DRINKS-
C (no cocktails, either. McMenamin’s is your best bet if
you have a mixed cocktail/ beer/ wine
group)
ATMOSPHERE-
C
SERVICE-
B+ (usually pretty good!)
VALUE-
B+
SNOB FACTOR-
Dude, there are no snobs in Bend!
˜
VELVET
-
Wall St. near Galveston corner
So
you don't really care about all of the fancy food, and nice
decor, and drinks served in cool glasses. And you're not so
much for bright places, either. Perhaps it's 1 am, you've
had a few, and you want a dark place to chill and have a
last drink while chomping some cheap eats. Welcome to
Velvet! Velvet is a low budget bar/lounge, and as such is a
welcome addition to Bend. No, it's not as low budget as the
D. But it's also not quite as representative of the 1980's,
either. Velvet is a very small, two level lounge near the
corner of Wall st and Galveston. It features inexpensive
drinks, and food to match, though they do have some yummy
things on the menu, including brie and other evening
staples. PBR's are a buck, and the couches are cushy.
Servers are very friendly. When I was there they had tv's
with surfing on them, which never hurts in my book. Think
of it as a less yuppie version of the Downtown Martini Bar,
and it's about the same size, too. Nothing special, but
sometimes you just want low key and easy. And cheap helps,
too.
FOOD-
B-
DRINKS-
B-
ATMOSPHERE-
C+
SERVICE-
A-
VALUE-
A-
SNOB
FACTOR-
LMAO!
˜
BO RESTOBAR
- 550 NW Franklin, #118 -- P. 541.617.8880
What
we probably did not need in Bend was another relatively
average, moderately executed casual bar/ lounge. We have
several, including the Astro Lounge and whatever "The
Grove" is called this week. So, if you're going to do one,
your standards should be pretty high to be successful. The
standards here are not, and yet it is by no means bad. Just
totally unremarkable. Oh, they do have a nice water feature
with a Buddha head- I liked that. And the decor is okay,
but kind of generic. There is another location in Portland,
so I guess Bend is the next logical step for them, but we
have so many great places in such a small space, that you
better stand out. They don't. Food is mediocre, drinks are
too, and though they are trying to look upscale, they have
karaoke prominently displayed. Not my thing, but my cousin
is a raving fan, so I shall not judge. But the rest of it,
karaoke or no, rates very, very average.
FOOD-
C
DRINKS-
C
ATMOSPHERE-
B-
SERVICE-
A-
VALUE-
B-
SNOB FACTOR-
Medium
˜
CASCADE LAKES BREWING CO.
-
1441 SW Chandler Ave, #100 (on the way to Mt. Bachelor) --
P. 541.388.4998
Gosh,
how I have tried to like this place. I have been there many
times, and even more times to its sister pubs in Redmond
(Seventh Street Pub- the single worst “nacho”, and I use
that term loosely, in human history, and the Red Dog
Depot), and yet I keep having to ask myself why I go back.
I’ll admit, this last time it had been nearly a year, and I
had forgotten how absolutely mediocre it is in everything
it does. I took clients there, and my wife, and again, yet
again, we all yawned at the food, yawned at the beer (The
Grizzly Mt Stout is . . . well, OK, and so is their
signature Rooster Tail ale), and yawned at the whole place-
though the prices were higher which makes no sense. DEAR
GOD THERE ARE BETTER OPTIONS! It does have kind of a
touristy, mountain style, so I guess the folks who can’t
find the good pubs downtown as they sprint between Mount
Bachelor and the hotel, famished from their day at the
mountain, keep it afloat. But dear Lord, couldn’t they
improve a little over the years? Beer- bland. Food- also
bland. Prices- High for the quality you get. Much better
prices at the better pubs. Margaritas are awful. Taco night
is not as good as it sounds. And the decor is tv’s on every
corner, cement floors, and cafeteria style. Not so bad in a
pub, of course, but I was looking for something good to
say, and I can’t find anything. What a bummer. Should be
good, and I really would love for it to be. I have read
good reviews on the web, but mostly it seems from tourists
who are high- high on Bend, high on mountain biking, high
on kayaking, high on snowboarding, high on Bend living. I
know that sort of travel high can make bad places seem
good. I have had that feeling in places like Puerto
Vallarta, Vegas, and Mount Shasta City. But when I tell a
local, they look at me like I’m nuts. Well, buddy . . . I’m
lookin’ at ya like you’re nuts.
FOOD-
C
DRINKS-
C
ATMOSPHERE-
C-
SERVICE-
B-
VALUE-
C-
SNOB FACTOR-
Low
˜
KINGS BUFFET-
2000 3rd st- North end -- P.
541.388.2988
Well,
everyone who knows me knows that I loves me the China Sun-
though I have not been there since the reopen. Which is the
only reason I went to Kings Buffet with the kiddies, as I
was TOLD that it was great. Uh, that person is no longer on
my list of trusted informants. My whole family ate there,
all 5 of us, all 5 who loves the China Sun. In fact, the
kids say it is their favorite restaurant. But to say that
the food we had at Kings Buffet was the worst we have had
in town is misleading. We all actually decided it was some
of the worst food we have ever had . . . ever. And it is
dirty and dingy, which doesn’t help. And the manager
(owner?) seems to mean well, but he kind of made us feel
like we were trying to dine and ditch, as when I stood up
to go pay he yelled, “NO! You pay here!” and pointed to the
table. Yeah, pal, that’s not exactly gonna help the rating
. . .
FOOD-
F
DRINKS-
N/A
ATMOSPHERE-
What?
SERVICE-
None
VALUE-
D
SNOB FACTOR-
No snob would be caught dead in here . . . a permanent safe
zone!
˜